It is 100 other things, but Christmas-time is also when we find out if our
address books are up-to-date. Often we only write to some people at
Christmas. This year one returned card in particular made me stop and think.
It was to my fourth grade teacher. She lived in Northern Virgina with her
daughter and son-in-law. The last time I saw her she was 81. I had been to
her house for her birthday, and then again later that year. I'd not seen her
since then, but wrote to her a few times. But I'd not seen her, and that
returned latter bothered me. She was healthy at 81, but ... she was over 80.
I thought that maybe I'd call her daughter, where she lived. I dreaded it
somewhat. I really figured the returned card could only mean one thing. But
then I thought, do a "Google" search for "ruth emerson campana." And so I did.
"Ruth Emerson Campana, 83, died on Thursday, May 8, at her home in Great
Falls, VA," read the obit at
Garden City Life newspaper obituaries. Certainly
sad, but, after all, she was 83! Then I got a shock: Ann Judge, the
daughter I'd met, with whom Mrs. Campana lived in northern Virginia, had died before
her, murdered by terrorists on September 11th when they crashed American 77
into the Pentagon. (See
http://www.acjfoundation.org/.)
I had seen Mrs. Campana, Ruth as she has now wanted me to call her, after
writing to her in the mid-1990s. (She is the only elementary school teacher
I'd ever tried to look up.) I wrote to her in care of the school district
back on Long Island, figuring that they'd have an address for her if she was
still alive. They did, and forwarded the letter to Mooreshead, NC from where
she wrote to me. We corresponded for a few years, and then one year -- 1999,
I think -- I failed to get a Christmas card. Mine did not get returned, but
I'd not heard from her in a while and feared the worst. But, no, she'd just
slowed down a bit and move ... to Northern Virginia! She was living a bit
over an hour from me. So, I arranged to visit her in early 2000.
I still remember seeing her again after what must have been nearly
30 years! But I would have recognized her smile anytime.
In August
of that year, I visited her with my daughter, Lori, after visiting GMU
(college shopping). I think that maybe the last time I saw her was February
28th, 2001, on her 81st birthday. I brought her flowers.
We talked about life now, about our Christian faith, about children, old
teachers back in West Hempstead, her granddaughter, getting old (her). Her
daughter Ann would tell me, "She repeats herself sometimes and is
self-conscious about it. She'll ask, 'Did I say this already?'" Ann would
tell her, "I don't know, but tell me again. It doesn't matter." And Ann was
right on both accounts. Ruth did repeat herself at times. And it didn't
matter. It was a joy to listen to her and to give her joy by visiting with
her. And it gave me joy also.
When she turned 80, she said, "You know, before you turn 80, you are just
old. But after that you can say anything you want. And people just
smile, and wink, and say, 'Did you hear what she said? She's 80, you know.'"
Why would I write to a teacher who taught me in 1964 when I was 9? Why would
I go to see her? Why does it grieve me that I'd not visited her more
recently? Let me tell you about my 4th grade teacher.
I went to George Washington School in West Hempstead since kindergarten in
1960. In fourth grade, my teacher was Ruth Emerson Campana. I remember her
so very well. "4C" she'd sign things. We joked about it in recent years.
"4th grade class, Campana." She was different than any teacher I had ever
had. Here on Long Island, to this Italian-Catholic boy, she was something
foreign, someone exotic. She was a southerner. She spoke with a southern
accent. It was incredibly different and enjoyable.
As my friend -- my best friend going back to before 4th grade -- Ken Cunneen
remembers, she was very warm and friendly, and told us stories about
growing up in the South. Once she was teaching us about the states. We
learned a different state or two a week. The capital, where it was on the
map, what it looked like, and the main thing it produced. (People who were
in "4C" will remember all this was on the far left side of the green chalk
board.) We were learning about North Carolina, where she was from. When we
got to what it was famous for, we all in one voice -- in our best "southern
accents" shouted "CAH-RAH LAHY-nah RAHYce," (mimicking a TV commercial of the time).
She got almost hysterical laughing. Finally, she said, "That's SOUTH
Carolina!" Like there was a difference to us...
Once -- and I do not remember why -- her son, Michael, visited our class.
(He was older and was in a different school.) He brought
his pet iguana. (I wonder if he remembers that!)
She gave us 5 "weekly words" each week, vocabulary words to memorize. My
sister, Phyl, who also had Mrs. Campana, and I still remember many of them. (It
was after joking about them once I decided to try to contact her for the
first time in years.) Sans -- without. Gullible -- easily deceived.
Garrulous -- talkative. Deciduous -- sheds annually.
She introduced us to poetry. I love Emily Dickenson today, because of Ruth
Campana. And poems by Alfred Joyce Kilmer: "I think that I shall never see a poem
lovely as a tree..." We had to memorize them.
And she read to us. I do not remember any of the books she read to us except
one: E. B. White's Charlotte's Web. I told her when I saw her at Ann
and Geoff's that I read it to my children. I still remember sitting in her
class hearing one of the saddest passages in literature, and it brings a
lump to my throat when I read it to my children now. When I have read these
words and when I will read them again to other children and to my
grandchildren, I hear them in Ruth Campana's southern accent:
"She never
moved again. Next day, as the Ferris wheel was being taken apart and the
race horses were being loaded into vans and the entertainers were packing up
their belongings and driving away in their trailers, Charlotte died. The
Fair Grounds were soon deserted. The sheds and buildings were empty and
forlorn. The infield was littered with bottles and trash. Nobody, of the
hundreds of people that had visited the fair, knew that a grey spider had
played the most important part of all. No one was with her when she died."
RIP, 4C.